Cal Habig Coaching

When we think of boundaries in leadership, many of us think of putting limits on those around us or on situations. Not letting people take advantage of us when we need time and space for ourselves or our families or for other priorities. And that definition of boundary in leadership is truly important.

But there is another type of boundaries in leadership–and it is best seen over a span of months or years,

A boundary is a time period that God uses to begin to phase you out of one form or aspect of leadership and to prepare you for something else He has in store. Boundaries can be as short as several months and as long as five or six years.

Two distinct times stand out in my mind, both related to boundaries (there are more, but these two immediately come to mind):
1. The first was early in my ministry years. It was my first preaching ministry after seminary. There were three ministers in the little town in which we served in the mid 1980s: the Methodist minister, the Baptist minister and the Christian Church minister (me). We did a few events together as churches and all of us had church members who had extended family or close friends in one another’s churches. There was not a super emotional closeness between the three of us but there was a definite sense of fraternity

That is why what Dale S., the Baptist minister, did was so valuable to me. Dale called me up one day and said he wanted to have coffee at The Hospitality House (the only restaurant/coffee shop in town). After pleasantries, Dale got down to business: he said I needed to move on. It was not said in a hostile way. I fact, it was said in a very loving way. Basically the message he wanted to communicate was that there was no real future for me to grow to my potential in this church and community. I needed to actively seek another place to serve. It was not a power play…to get me out of town. It was an act of Christian love. I was a young (31) minister and he was almost to retirement age. He saw in me things I didn’t even see in myself, but which he knew could only be developed elsewhere. He believed God wanted him to communicate to me that it was time for me to move on to my next stage of ministry.

After prayerful confirmation, Loretta and I began to be open to moving. We began to put out feelers, and about a year later we moved to a wonderful ministry where we served for 13 years and grew tremendously. That year was hard…but we knew that we had heard from brother Dale that God was about to move us on.

2. The second memory is much less pleasant. We had been at a specific church for about seven years. My wife and I were in a social setting with a group of key families from our church. The group was a very distinct and tight knit social group and had recently taken actions that were very hurtful to the unity of our congregation. A number of church members had spoken of the hurt and confusion that had arisen from this groups actions. I wasn’t sure how it needed to be addressed, but knew it needed to be done. Suddenly, an opportunity (seemed) to open up in this social event for me to raise my concern with what this group had done. My description of the event and the hurt it had caused began well, but very quickly degenerated into shouting and accusations. It was a horrible mistake.

Loretta commented that day and repeated numerous times. “I didn’t know when we would leave or how, but I knew we would leave.” Again, it was a two and a half year process, some of the most painful years in our ministry years and our lives. But that period (that boundary) ended with a very public and painful departure from that church.

Bobby Clinton who has studied hundreds of leaders has pointed to nine different types of situations that result in us entering boundary times. I want to look at those in a future post.

But Clinton also notes that there are four purposes of boundaries:
1. to bring closure to recent experiences
2. to deepen our relationship with God
3. To expand our perspectives to see new things, AND
4. to make decisions which will launch us into a new phase of development.

Clinton has taken the work of Hans Finzel and identified three stages within boundaries.
The first is the entry stage (initiating activity). This can be as positive as graduation from a program of study or a promotion or a critical point such as a sudden serious illness or organizational conflict.

The second is the evaluation stage (turning point). This is the longest period of the boundary. This period is also the richest in terms of learning. The leader (usually) recognizes that change is coming. He/she reflects on past experiences. God does deep work during this time in teaching several leadership lessons. To go through a boundary and not learn the lessons that God is trying to teach through it is truly tragic.

The third stage is the termination stage (resolution). Clarity begins to emerge, the leader begins to look forward to a specific new situation, and planning for that new future begins to happen.

Boundaries are not the fun part of leadership. But they are part of the processing that God does in our lives to grow us into what he wants us to be. He begins to loosen our grip on things as they are and let us know that a change is coming. We are wise if we begin to intentionally look at the leadership lessons he wants to teach us in the transition.

Does this remind you of a critical boundary in your life & leadership? Feel free to share it in the comments below.

I usually try to make this blog very practical.  But Friday I was presented with a little statement (below).  I wrote a 10 minute response and for whatever reason wanted to put it up here.

The past is gone forever
The present is constantly fleeting
The future does not exist.

What is reality?

Oh, how I disagree this this. 

The past is not gone forever. It lives in art work created and buildings built;  it lives in the relationships that have been built in times past.  It lives in the memory of a 95 year old woman remembering when she was a young girl and first fell in love.

The past is perhaps the MOST real of the three because it cannot be changed. It happened and IS.

But the present is also real.  But we too often miss it.  We long for days gone by.  We yearn for the day when things will be different. But we miss The combination of the type of rain (Astoria advertises it has 95 different forms or rain—how many does Portland have?), the temperature, where I am viewing the rain, the state of the objects in my purview will likely never exist again in that specific combination. Let me enjoy the view, smell the freshneess, hear the sound of the rain in THIS part of the city.

No, the present, if you are aware, is eminently real.

And yet the future is also real. What does it mean “to be real?”  Must it mean material existence?  Are hopes not real; do dreams not exist?  Even the very material of the future—rock, sand, water, seed and egg—already are here.  They only await the future to take their new form.

Do past, present, future exist? 

What is life if they don’t?

One of the dangers of leaders, both those who work in the business field as well as those who work in church and non-profit fields is that of jumping to conclusions.  We are pressed for time and we see a situation and “know” what is going on without checking our facts.    While this Dutch video is funny, all of us can think of either leadership or team situations where the consequences were not funny at all.  Do you have a situation where you jumped to a conclusion and found yourself very wrong?  If you are willing…share it below. 

I have thoroughly enjoyed my iPad that I have had for about five months. I use it multiple times every day.  There is nothing better to take notes on while listening to a sermon.  But is it the best thing to preach FROM?  I have seen it done well and done poorly.  I have seen it where there was a bit of Apple snobbery about the whole thing.  But I suspect some day I will try to preach from my iPad. It just seems both too handy (and frankly, too cool).

So, along comes ProPreacher.com to give us The Ten Commandments of iPad Preaching

1. Thou shall turn off notifications.
2. Thou shall turn off auto-lock.
3. Thou shall lower the brightness.
4. Thou shall not draw attention to your iPad.
5. Thou shall use a PDF reader app for notes.
6. Thou shall still carry a Bible.
7. Thou shall make sure the iPad is fully charged.
8. Thou shall have a backup.
9. Thou shall not leave your iPad unattended.
10. Thou shall not have an open beverage next to your iPad.

Brandon at ProPreacher has much more to say about each item on the list.  Check it out here.

Are there commandments that you would add to the list?  (Even though God only came up with 10, it is OK for us to have lists of more than 10!)  Share them below.

It is often held that one of the best speech (writers? givers? crafters? speakers?  speechifiers?) in the past few decades is former New York governor Mario Cuomo.  Here is a clip on his advice on writing/giving speeches.  There are a couple of particularly good ideas (IMHO) here.  Check it out. 

Carey Neiuwhof has a very short but practical blog post on making tough decisions.  You really have only 3 choices:

• Option 1.  Make no decision. .
• Option 2. Try to please everyone.
• Option 3. Separate the competing visions, and choose one.

Then, in a (relatively) very short blogpost he shares about those three and three things NOT to do after you have decided.  Check it out here. 

Tomorrow morning I am speaking at the Central Portland meeting of the Christian Chamber of Commerce.  I plan to end my talk (“Six Characteristics of Those Who Finish Well”) by using the poem The Race by D.H. Groberg.  It has come to mean an lot to me and perhaps will to you:

“Quit, give up, you’re beaten”
They shout at you and plead
“There’s just too much against you
This time you can’t succeed”.

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being

Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place

The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one

The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
“My dad will be so proud”

But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
“Get up and win the race”

He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that’s all
And ran with all his might and mind
To make up for the fall

So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again

He wished then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
“I’m hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn’t try to race”

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his father’s face
That steady look which said again
“Get up and win the race”

So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I’m going to gain those yards he thought
I’ve got to move real fast

Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again

Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There’s no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I’m out, why try?

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way

“I’ve lost, so what”, he thought
I’ll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he’d have to face

“Get up” the echo sounded low
“Get up” and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
“Get up”, and win the race

With borrowed will “Get up” it said
“You haven’t lost at all”
For winning is no more than this:
To rise each time you fall

So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn’t quit

So far behind the others now
The most he’d ever been
Still he’d give it all he had
And run as though to win

Three times he’d fallen, stumbling
Three times he’d rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race

And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he’d won the race
To listen to the crowd

And to his dad he sadly said
“I didn’t do too well”
“To me you won”, his father said
“You rose each time you fell”

One of the Christmas gifts that I asked for and received was the biography of Henri Nouwen, Wounded Prophet.  It is not a fast read…like Nouwen’s books themselves, the biography (written by Michael Ford) causes me to stop and think. 

Last night I read a section that has stuck with me all day today.  It is a passage I am not sure what to do with.  The context is Nouwen’s profound love of the circus.  He writes about the circus and its spiritual parallels in several of his books.  (I particularly like his picture of God as the catcher on the trapeze “whose hands are always there to receive and welcome home.”)  (p. 22) 

I’m not quite as sure what to do with another picture—that of the pastor and of Christ both as clowns. 

Nouwen recognized that people respond to clowns not with admiration, amazement, or tension but with sympathy, understanding, and a smile. Of the virtuosi, people might exclaim, “How can they   do it?” but of the clowns comes the realization, “They are like us.” Tearfully and joyfully the clowns—in reality peripheral people who “evoke a smile and awaken hope” through their humble, saintly lives—share the same human weaknesses as everyone else. It was significant (Nouwen noted) that pastoral psychologists such as Heije Faber and Seward Hiltner had used the image of the clown to understand the role of the minister in contemporary society. In one sermon, written for seminarians, he said that the circus would be depressing if all people looked up to view the artistes whose breathtaking heroics were hard to emulate.

“But the clown saves us: He is our man, because he fails, like we do, he makes mistakes like we do, he says to us, nonvirtuosity are OK too. And in his white face we recognize ourselves in our daily tasks of which so many fail. . . . Christ is the clown who came into our circus and made us laugh because he came to tell us that we are not what we
perform. He came for the crying, the persecuted, the weak, the hungry, the poor. He who is called to be a minister is called to be a clown.”

Probably it is my stereotypes and pride of pastoral leadership that makes me chafe at that picture.  Part of me believes it is correct…but part of me is really uncomfortable with it.  Does it minimize Christ?  Does it trivialize ministers?  I’m not sure.

Give me your insights. What do you think?

You will never get one big chance to be trusted in your life; you will get thousands of small ones.

Trust.

It is huge.  In business, leadership, ministry, marriage, relationships…in almost every area of life, trust is huge.  I have broken off business relationships because of a lack of trust, damaged my marriage when I have broken trust, had ministries end because there was basically a lack of trust. 

David Horsager, a business strategist, entrepreneur, professor, and author from Minnesota has written a very helpful book on trust, particularly in business.  (David Horsager. The Trust Edge: How Top Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships, and a Stronger Bottom Line. Free Press, 2012.)

I find his list of Eight Ways to Build Trust With Your People extremely helpful.  They are vital in your ministry interactions as well as your family and interpersonal relationships.

Clarity. Clarity starts with honesty. People trust the clear and distrust the vague. Communicate clearly and frequently.

Compassion. Think beyond yourself. There are four keys ways we show we care: listen, show appreciation, be engaged, and serve others.

Character. Have high morals and be consistent in your thoughts, words, and actions. Always ask, “Am I doing the right thing?”

Competency. Humility is the first step in learning. Create a regular plan for staying competent and capable.

Commitment. Great leadership demands sacrifice. The people who stick with you when things are tough are the ones you can really trust.

Connection. Trust is about relationships. In every interaction we increase or decrease trust. Be genuine, be grateful and avoid gossip.

Contribution. You must deliver results to be trusted. Give attention, resources, time, opportunity, and help.

Consistency. Probably the most important pillar of all as it gives meaning to all of the other pillars. You will never get one big chance to be trusted in your life; you will get thousands of small ones. Just one inconsistency can change people’s perspective.

Those last two sentences really stand out to me.  I’ve already quoted one above.  The second one, again, is:

Just one inconsistency can change people’s perspective.

Worth thinking about and meditating on today.

I was reminded today of a proverb that didn’t seem to make much sense:  “Seize hold of opportunity as it comes toward you because it is bald in back!”   The saying goes back to the Greek god Kairos.  For those Greek language scholars among you, you know that kairos means “time”.  Kairos was seen as the youngest son of Zeus.  He had an opportunity to overthrow his father, but he delayed and never again had that chance. He is depicted as a young man with a long lock of hair hanging down the front of his head.  But the back of his head is bald.  Thus the proverb: “Seize hold of opportunity as it comes toward you because it is bald in back!”

That (in part) illustrates the verse in Ecclesiastes 9:10: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.”

What opportunity is coming your way today?  Seize hold of it today because once it is past, the opportunity may not be attainable again.